Walk

We've all done it, some more than others. That's right. Going for a walk. What better way to clear one's mind than to go for a nice, brisk walk on a cool evening with a pathway lit by the moon. Being able to just not worry about anything, looking at the stars in the sky that seem like fireflies that are stuck there permanently. Walking just seems to be the natural way to relieve stress and relax, and in my personal experience, most efficient. I walk every week, almost everyday. I walked just an hour ago, and I'm prolly gonna walk again after this, with my Zune on max and my walking playlist on repeat. I never know how long my walk will last, but they only last as long as they need to.

You Break and You Mend

This past Spring Break was one that resulted in hearts being broken, lives being changed, hearts being restored, people's growth, and so much more.



There was not a day during this week that my heart wasn't broken for the lost. The conversations I had with people, the things I saw them do, the lack of care for anything that some of them had, their inability to comprehend, their not wanting to comprehend......was just devastating. 700 people gave up their week to spend all their abilities, resources and emotions to try and reach the some 50,000 people who were on that island. They went to great depths to share God's love and allow these people to experience it. Pouring their hearts completely, multiple times, to multiple people, who sometimes didn't care, was discouraging beyond a point of expression. But also, the fact that these 700 were able to continue to do so, without stopping, with full hearts, with full intent...was encouraging far beyond what some may comprehend.



Those 50,000 people just needed love. Some haven't experienced it. Others, don't know how to show it. It pained my heart to speak to the ones who couldn't understand why we do what we do, because they had never even thought it was possible. The stories some of them shared of their pasts, the tears brought to their eyes in speaking whatever was left in their hearts, the confidence they conveyed in some of their stories that showed a void that still dominated their life, moved me beyond a point of feeling. The power of a train meeting it's potential, the sound of a lion's constant roar, the force of tornado's wind, all combined, equal a fraction of what I felt my heart going through this week. Pouring out all I could to people, time after time, person after person, some who continued to not care, was breaking. Their worldly ideas and views of what Christians are remained the same. If they only knew the depths we would go to, the depths we have gone to, and the depths we will continue to go to in order to let them know they are loved by the One that never fails, then perhaps their eyes could be opened. And some of them were. Just in speaking, I could see the gears in their heads turning, moving, putting the pieces of their life-long puzzle together, understanding that there was so much more out there that was being offered to them. Seeing and hearing some of those accept this instilled a joy unspeakable in us. Truth.



My heart hurt not only for the lost, but for some of those who believed they were helping the lost. Yes, they had the right mindset, but the way in which the went about doing it wasn't right. It developed no growth between them and the lost. Hearing of people who did nothing but condemn the lost, without even speaking of how to be free from it, discouraged me.

Despite these people, I am fortunate to have been a part of a team whose hearts not once failed, who persevered in times of great sorrow, who continued to motivate and build each other up in times of need, who spoke nothing but Truth into those they met. These people, yes, these very people impacted lives and hearts with every person they met. They sought out the needs of others, looking away from themselves. These people I was able to grow with and witness their awesome hearts and desire to serve our God. These people are servants, examples of what the world needs to see. These people are my friends.



Just know that your prayers definitely helped us throughout this week. I could certainly feel the power that each prayer filled us with. Prayer is such a powerful weapon, one that doesn't need to be taken lightly. It should be a consistent, daily part of our lives. Things happen when we pray, that don't happen when we don't pray.



I love you all.

Craving

As I sit there, eyes completely absorbed
into the rectangular wall of light,
I experience a strange feeling,
A rumbling from deep within me.
What is this, this craving?
The origin of this uncomfortableness
remains unknown. A mystery, soon solved.
I continue about my evening routine,
when yet again, another strike to my
very being, sends a jolt throughout me.
I hear what sounds like the grumbling
of a caged beast. A large one at that.
I try to resist and constrain this emotion.
I fail. I find myself being picked up,
almost dragged to the door,
in search of something that still
remains yet a mystery, hoping for an answer.
Step after step, for several steps,
I traverse the long, narrow hallway
which seems to be closing in the further I go.
I walk aimlessly, wondering where
I am being taken. What awaits me?
I reach a door. Beyond that door, stairs.
As I cautiously begin my descent,
I feel the extreme movement inside me.
I must be drawing near, near to something.
At the bottom of these stairs, is yet another door.
Again, I open it. Darkness. And then, a dim light, accompanied
by an ingratiating brightness, draws me closer.
I find myself nearly brought to the ground,
by this, this, seemingly unsatisfiable craving.
When suddenly, my eyes adjust to the contrasting
light and dark, and I realize, in all its amazingness,
stands before me....a vending machine.
The answer to the unknown feeling inside me:
Hunger. The problem, now solved,
as I take from my pocket,
a crisp green paper blotted with ink.
And a salubrious product falls to the floor.
Chocolate. I bring the sensational
sustenance to my mouth,
encompassing its extreme richness
to my delight.
The end result, my craving solved.
The beast inside me tamed,
for one more night.